i wish i could just completely spill my guts on this thing but because i'll never know who's eyes will rest on this i have to be careful what i say.....although i've been clearly shown that i have few people i can trust as it is whether it's written or not.
it's killing me that someone i felt i could always trust turns around and makes life just that much more difficult to deal with. i can't contain all the emotion inside me. i've never felt this way before. betrayal is so new to me. especially when it's within family. i can't stand it. i feel like screaming out and just ripping my body apart in hopes that this feeling will go away. days like today make me that much more excited to leave for Idaho. Idaho is my escape. i can be myself and not have to worry about anyone else but me. just me. sound selfish? well....maybe. but right now? that's what i need. i need a way to focus on me and only me. everything else will just have to fall where it may. i can't spend more time worrying about making everyone happy or trying to confide in people to only have a big knife stabbed in my back.
i'm sorry for being such a downer but the emotions i've gone through in the last week have been immense and uncontrollable it seems. i just needed an out....unfortunately there's so much more going on but i couldn't possibly BEGIN to go into it. if you're really curious give me a call or shoot me an e-mail. i'd be more than happy to explain......
i hope everyone's day is wonderful
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Kat. I can somewhat understand what it is like to be betrayed. I had a really good friend whom i trusted more than anyone, and they betrayed me and I am still trying to find in me the means to trust them again. I have forgiven them, but the friendship will never be the same again. Time heals all wounds, but you can start by trying to focus on others. You don't need to bear your soul to them, but the more you focus on others the more you can feel better. It worked for me. Love you so much! Pray and things will work out for the best!
Katy
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